This space has not had a true update in a bit. I have been moving and such. Let us begin there. Let us get back to what this blog used to be. It was first and foremost whatever I, the author, wanted it to be, and I always wanted it to be true. True to me specifically, and yet I have danced around topics and applied enough tact to make myself sick. What happened to the truth? What happened to the alcohol fuel, tobacco burning, dioneysian blog posts that made at least one person think, or made me feel like I was actually doing something with this?
Well it is all coming back. I described this to one of my professors as a “no s*** window into my life,” but somewhere along the way I forgot that. This is not as dramatic as it all sounds? Sometimes I got off writing about pencil sharpeners. I can tell you why I stopped doing that as much, because everybody that enjoys graphite and would feels the need to write about it (me included) and I was not reading theirs, so I stopped asking them to read mine as often, that is all it was just kind of a courtesy thing. So let us begin with an update.
We were reasssigned to Fort Sam Houston…well isn’t that peachy, leave Massachusetts, leave the circle of Boston, leave Framingham, and go back to the Ghetto. No I am not hanging out in the wrong parts of Texas, no I do not need to give it a chance, I am allowed to dislike an entire state without offering a reason, and the city of San Antonio, for that I can give reasons. I am not saying that I will not enjoy things here, I will, I always find something to do, but for me this place will always be too far South West. Now we do live two minutes from where the medics are made, and that always strikes me as a little funny.
Let us be honest here. I planned every detail of my last day at Framingham State as best as I could. I had a vision in my head and I was going to do my best to make sure it happened. I would not settle for something anticlimactic as the semester just being over and me not coming back. I made a playlist…I even wore the exact same outfit on my last day that I had worn on my first, if you will allow for the fact that I have of course bought new underwear since then. Even my socks were the same. I know because they are the ones I wear with my Doc Martin’s. I cant guarantee that it was the same pair of socks, but there are only three pairs of these, and I have had the same three this whole time. It was a private little joke that only I was in on.
This may be the only picture of me from that day. Zander was there out of necessity caused by the moving schedule and such. Nobody minded, I have lots of photos of plenty of my friends playing with him. The point is the sweater, it book ended my time at Framingham State University. I thought it was hysterical. I even made a play list. That’s right. I made a SOUNDTRACK for my last day. Most people did not notice that I had it playing most of the day walking around in my personal little movie.
I went out on country roads. My buddy Steve camethrough (without knowing it) and we went and smoked before I walked off the campus at almost exactly the same time I had left a night class on my first day. Couldn’t have done it without you buddy.
We decided to road trip out of MA. I know I have a lot more stuff I could talk about, especially people and it may come back to me later, but this will be longer than it is already going to be. We had some help getting cleaned out of our house, very grateful, and then I had to leave everyone. We had some friends when We’ve left other places, but they were army people, they knew what it was like. Here? We were attached. So we put a bunch of crap in the outback and went trecking out with kids for 1800 miles, and around 25 days. We visited family. We visited friends. I spent a good bit of the time dealing with that feeling that I am unsure if it is caused becaus we were in between and it wouldn’t go away until we had a house to put together, or if it was just the dread of where we were going. The kids actually did really well with all of the hotels and such. We spent New Years in a hotel room enjoying each other’s company. If you are bored and want to get to the point, here’s one. Home really is where the heart is, for me, I really am just happy the wife, kids, and I are all together.
The little guy and his hotel bed. They were happy as long as there was a bathtub to play in. Kids know how to keep it simple.
This whole home is where the heart is thing being true is not news. What is news is this: you are not required to continue taking people’s garbage just because you are related to them. I am not saying that all the little motivational Facebook posts about leaving negative people behind are at all true, much to the contrary, I am sure that more often that not people are not looking in the right direction. I have been there, I have forgotten to blame myself because I did not want to accept that I was the problem, but more often than not we know the type. My sister is great at this kind of thing, posting about people messing people up when she can’t make a sandwich without a family fight and the cops coming. That’s what I’m tired of, pretending I care. I love my family, but you know what I’m tired of telling them that they need to do to fix the situation. My mother and grandmother are ready to pull their hair out, my mother has the kids and doesn’t get any sleep, and when my family and I come we are mostly spectators to this circus. AND we never say anything about it. That stopped back at the beginning of this paragraph. I do not blame her kids, you have them, stop fooling with that Stalingrad dumpster fire until she pulls it together. Everyone turns on everyone so fast, and I feel like phone calls are just sirens telling me what she has done now. It has driven people out of business and before we know it her final revenge will be complete and my kids wont get to see you at all due to the early grave it has driven you to. We get tired of coming to see everyone and trying to dance around the mess that she has made. Call me what you will, but I am serious. We don’t mind helping with the kids, so long as we are not telling ours to wait around and get what is left. However! We did get my grandparents to go to the Tennessee Aquarium. That was awesome as always. That place should get an entry to itself.
Some more travels later, we found ourselves on the way to San Antonio for real. Now here is the catch. When this trip was over, I was going to have to get up the next day, get on an airplane, and do the whole thing again. It was cheaper than shipping our second car. I was going to have an awesome post all planned out for you guys, I was going to go to Route 66 and drive as much of it as possible before hitting Texas. It was going to be awesome! I bought a book and spent most of January planning it out. Then our car was broken into. I found out from my wife while I was sitting on my second plane waiting on them to check out the equivalent of a check engine light, which is admittedly more serious on a plane. I guess the crew heard my displeasure at someone having busted a window out. I looked over in the next seat and there was Woodford Reserve and a Coke. They kept appearing. Here’s to the employees of American Airlines. My road trip went by the wayside, I wanted to get home as quickly as possible, home to my family that is. Here’s the thing. We are smart enough to take the DVD players out every time we stop. We did not have a lot in the car. My bag that was in there I had put in that morning so that my wife would not have to carry it down the stairs herself with the kids. All in all they took clothes, my writing stuff, Liam’s toy bag, My wife’s clothes. The only real valuable–as far as single items go, stuff adds up–was my Nintendo 3DS. Yes I know this is a First World problem to have. Yes we are insured, yes we can and have replaced most of that stuff. However: it was ours. I hate being stolen from. A part of me hopes that they were able to sell that stuff and feed their kids, or maybe a kid who had nothing has those toys, but I know thats wishful thinking, and that part of me is small. The bigger part of me comes from a place where we fought and dueled to build a reputation so that people would not steal from us. We hate thieves, and that bigger part of me would–and I say this unable to make those who don’t know understand–that I really would break someone’s limbs over my kids toys, my wife’s clothes, and some fountain pens. The worst part is, it killed the little good I saw in this place. I have gone to concerts in Worcester MA, parked in an alley with money in the cup holders, actual bills, and people did not smash windows and take money, never has that happened in my life. Two days in this place? Thieves hang, no I do not want to hear the rest of the story.
End of the day, my wife and kids are safe. All is well. We now live on post, and the house is actually really nice. People say your blog is supposed to help people. Here it is again: putting a house together with two kids is slow. I do not mind living on post, and Liam and I have some nice places to skateboard, and a park, and if we want, we can bike to the grocery store. What’s amazing is having friends who love you enough and know you well enough to pack the perfect box to try to cheer you up.
We have been selling off some more stuff online. Here’s some more tips. #1 be prepared for people to think their stuff is worth way too much. I read an anthropology paper that did a good job explaining this. #2 be prepared for people to not be able to read. Even if you put the words “Will only meet at X” or “I have a Subaru, I cannot deliver a couch” people will not realize they don’t know where X is until they are “almost there” or they will ask when you can drop the couch off. To sell online is to need golf shoes to wade through the stupid.
OH! I wrote a novel while we were traveling. I did it by the national novel writing month standards. It is 52,000 words of crap. But I did it. I wrote a novel. My support crew were all amazing. I might even revise it. I wrote a book. That’s a bucket list item gone. I am actually kind of pleased with the novel. Next step is to print it and begin revision.
Now we are here, refining our lives, cementing who we define ourselves as. I have managed to have a pretty good, INCOWRIMO, international correspondence writing month, despite being busy, my bag of writing stuff having to be replaced, not actually being able to open the mailbox, and getting a late start, I am on 28 letters and it is not the 28th. I have gotten some really good ones from the address exchanges.
Now I prepare to leave you, back to our regularly scheduled programming, the knives and pencils, the books and movies, with some new stuff. I hope to see more readers because I have a lot to write. It is almost baseball season. Zander has turned one…